I am a firm believer in the healing powers of friendship! I have very good friends, and it is a lifeline. My novels all have as one premise friendships among older females. We all have our flaws and can be annoying from time to time. In the overall, I wouldn’t give up my friendships for anything. And I do not need the relationship to be on an equal footing. I am happy to listen, advise if asked, and show my sincere compassion without interjecting my issues every time.

But, what if a friendship sucks up all of your energy. What if it depletes you emotionally year after year? What if someone complained to you for years on end about the same issue that entered almost every conversation? What if you offered sound advice, but the person didn’t want anything to change. Whatever the reason  — attention, sympathy or are chronic complainers. I’ve finally learned to say enough is enough. You have options to get yourself out of the bad situation. You make no attempt? Stop complaining. Being dumped as this person’s friend for speaking out would be a huge relief. I’d be annoyed with myself for letting the bloodletting go on any longer. I will wait for a bit of time to pass to see if my speaking out helped. If not – bye.

I am of the mindset not to allow any relationship to deplete my emotions for too long a period of time. It is hard enough coping with everyday living. I am here for my friends to complain, cry with them, laugh or express anger about various situations. But constant repetition of a problem, years on end, without seeking a solution (especially if it’s an easy fix) makes no sense to me. Call it selfish, but I feel we all need our inner resources to survive with some quality of life.

Share your thoughts below!